They're Home, Now What?

You can never forget the day you bring your baby, or multiple babies, home from the hospital.  With multiples especially, you sometimes end up taking one baby before the others are ready to leave the NICU (and juuuuuust in case the dear reader isn't sure, that stands for neonatal intensive care unit), in which case, you build up a routine at home gradually.  But we were fortunate:  our boys were born at 34.5 weeks (yes, I count those few days as a half week, because with premature babies, even days can make a difference!), only had to spend 10 days in the NICU, and got to come home on the same day. 

Our first family photo at home!  

Hopefully, the nurses at the hospital at which you have your babies, or your midwife or doctor at home,  will give you some helpful pointers before setting you loose.  We had to sit down for almost an hour of baby-care points, that we frantically tried to remember later, before we were allowed to tuck the boys into their car seats and be on our way.

That first ride home is tremendously exciting and terrifying!  We're going home!  They are coming to their first home for the first time!  With us!  We have kids!  Drive slow.  I can't drive any slower.  Is he still breathing?!  What sound did that other one just make?!  Pull over!  No!  They're fine!

We arrived home around 5 p.m. that day.  Just enough time to take pictures, settle the boys in the pack-and-play for a little bit while we scarfed down dinner, unpack all the items from the hospital, shower, feed and change the babies, and then hunker down in the bedroom for the first round of that silly thing called "trying to get your babies to sleep at night while feeding them seemingly round the clock."  (This link will take you to the page with all of my posts regarding Sleep.)

I'm smiling...but I don't know what to do next.

You may have other young children, and I hope your experience with them will give you some knowledge and wisdom we lacked as first-time parents, but maybe you aren't sure how to juggle all the different needs at home now.  Maybe these ARE your first children and you're feeling uncertain.  Either way, take a breath, you can do this!  Just take it one step at a time.  SUCH a cliche, but still true.  (See my post on "Do The Next Thing.")


The First Day/Night Home:

• Figure out a way to unload the car and bring everybody/everything inside without leaving either baby alone in the car at any point.  
• Take pictures!  Share with others.  
• Quickly sort through the items from the hospital and your things at home to make sure you have everything you need for the next 24 hours: diapers, wipes, place to put dirty diapers, formula, bottles, filtered water, breast pump, milk storage bags, nipple shields, extra changes of clothes/PJs for babies, thermometer (hopefully you won't need that yet!), baby logs, just whatever you've determined you need.  Have it all right next to where you'll be that night, at hand, so you don't have to think about it later.  
• Figure out where babies will sleep and let them get a little accustomed to it.  
• At first, try following the feeding schedule or rhythm you had in the hospital.  Some babies need to be fed every 2 or 3 hours.  
• Feed yourself, preferably a hearty, healthy meal that'll last you.  
• If there are more than 2 adults, take turns showering.  You don't know when you'll get the chance next.  If you are the only adult at home, it's okay to leave the babies in their crib, bouncy seats, etc, while you shower.  It really is okay!  If they cry a little, they cry a little.  You do what you have to do.  
• If you have other children at home, or dogs, feed them too!  You'll have to do some juggling that first evening to make sure everyone has their basic needs met.  
• Decide beforehand what you want the bedtime routine for your children to be, and try to start that very night!  It may sound silly to have it for newborns, but getting into the habit of doing the same things in the same order every night will not only help your kids, but it will help you, too.  It will ensure you don't forget things, and give you more confidence as you figure out how to care for your babies.
• Then, throughout the wee hours...good luck!  I'm praying for you.  Try to jot notes on what happens, even during the night. 

In our notes, we wrote down which baby was in which color, just in case.  But of course, those outfits may not last the night.  

The First Full Day Home:

• You'll be utterly exhausted.  But you'll have to get up at some point to feed babies, feed yourself, and feed other people in your house.  If at all possible, plan out your meals for a few days at a time, before the twins are born, so you can have quick, healthy, easy foods on hand and you don't have to think about it as much.  
• Continue taking notes on the babies' habits throughout the day.  These notes will help you establish routines and schedules later, and can answer questions the pediatrician may have.  You can also refer back to them when you have questions.  AND they'll be handy when filling in those baby books...when your kids turn...3.  (Here's an example of the kind of note system we used.)
• TRY to squeeze naps for yourself into the day when the babies sleep.  I know there are always dishes to wash, calls to make, etc., but if you don't nap at least once during the day, you'll soon be running on empty and possibly be a danger to others in your sleep-deprivation.
• If you haven't already done so, schedule the next check-ups for you and your babies.  

Newborns are actually very sleepy.  Whenever they do happen to sleep, enjoy it.  Sleep yourself, get something done, or steal a precious moment.  Here, grandma revels in the peace.  For now.  

The First Week Home:

• Get some fresh air!  Take a stroller walk if the weather is good, and if not, walk the mall.  If the babies aren't allowed in public yet, take a car ride.  Just do something so you don't start getting cabin fever.  Sadly, even trips to Target with the babies in the double Snap-n-Go were considered "outings" in those early days.  
• Keep taking those notes and forming a daily and nightly routine.  After a few days you should be able to see patterns of when your babies are hungry, when they sleep the best, when they're the most fussy.  
• Take more pictures!
• Try to find a home for all those items I mentioned from the hospital, and for baby gifts or purchases.  If you don't find homes for things now, it just piles up, clutters up, and gets out of hand.  Do it this week so you won't be overwhelmed later.  
• Try and spend some time with the other people in your house, so they won't feel neglected.  Even just a moment eating ice cream together in the living room can be special.  

The First Month Home:

• Attend to any lingering phone calls or paperwork regarding the hospital, insurance, etc.
• Write thank you notes for any baby gifts or help you've received. 
• Decide if and how you want to send out baby announcements.  Facebook is fun and free, ha ha!  Or if your babies are born in the fall, you can do what we did and combine the announcement with your Christmas card.  
• Decide if you want to do any photo sessions and plan.  I wish I had done a professional newborn photography session!  We were too sleep-deprived to research and plan that out, but now I realize how easy it is to take pictures of them when they're sleepy and can't move.
• Start making plans, if necessary, for child care when you return to work.  

Your babies are home; congratulations!

Strengthening Immune Systems!

When our twins came home from the NICU, they were just 10 days old.  Born at 34.5 weeks, that put them at around 36 weeks, developmentally.  For twins, this was a very good scenario.  But we were still very cautious (possibly paranoid) at first, worried that our precious premies would get sick and we'd land back at the hospital.

Baby A, the day he was born.  He was less than 5 pounds!

Baby A was quick to rip off his breathing tube...ahhh, that's better!  

Thus, the twins spent almost their first two months at home.  They got visitors, but we had people wash their hands before holding them.  We did laundry and sanitized surfaces like crazy.  Born on Halloween, a family gathering at Christmas may have been their first time to venture to a new place with a larger group of people.  We did take them on stroller walks outside, but not places where a lot of people would touch them.

And they were healthy!  Then we started leaving them at the church nursery, moved to a new state and I joined MOPS, where they had childcare.  Eventually they went to childcare for a Bible study I went to, as well, and started going to more play dates.  And then they were sick a lot!

Baby B, a few days after birth, soaking in the blue light for jaundice.  

It's inevitable that your babies and children will eventually get sick.  They need to be sick sometimes, with minor things, to build up their immunities to certain strains of viruses.  But one winter my twins and husband got the flu.  The actual flu, that can be miserable and deadly, not just "stomach flu." The year after that we all seemed to be on an endless cycle of colds and infections, and we all got strep throat several times.  (Though I will say, again, that we've had pretty good scenarios in terms of health in our family, and haven't had to endure the RSV lockdown period that many families of premies and micro-premies have.)

So, tired of being sick, and with threatening reports of rare viruses going around, I'm stepping up my game this season in my battle against illness!

Here's what we're doing:

• Multi-vitamin for myself daily.  Our pediatrician seems to think my boys don't need one yet, since they eat so well and can get their nutrients from food at this point, but I may be doing further research on this. 
• Elderberry syrup for the kids and I, daily doses.  This is the brand we've been trying; they also have an adult version that I take.  It's pricey, but the dose is only a teaspoon for children, so it lasts awhile.    
• Flu shots for the three of us.  Check!  Still trying to get the husband to go in for his...
• Echinacea tea once a day, If I remember to make it for myself (not recommended for children).
• Vitamin C supplement.  My doctor recently suggested I take one daily.  She said it can't hurt and anything my body can't use I'll just pee out anyway.  Currently, I'm just using Emergen-C packets, but I'm thinking of looking into more natural options.    
• Breakfast smoothies for myself:  at least 1 serving of fruit and/or 1 cup of leafy greens, with a source of protein (usually plain, unsweetened, whole milk yogurt, or oats) and sometimes chia seeds.  I also add a liquid of some kind, such as coconut water, milk, orange juice, or chocolate almond milk, and if the rest of the ingredients weren't very sweet, then some honey.  A friend of mine gave me the idea to pre-package smoothie concoctions in baggies in the freezer (just the produce and chia seeds, not yogurt, oats, liquids), so I'll do that now whenever I find a good price on frozen or fresh items.  
  
    
• Fruits or vegetables, obviously, and for the boys my goal is 1 serving with every meal and snack.  We're pretty good at meal times, but sometimes I slack off at snack times and they end up just eating crackers. Recent favorites have been apple slices and any vegetable dipped in hummus.
• Probiotics.  I'm still learning about these, so right now I just make sure we eat yogurt or drink kefir at least once a day.  I recently discovered kefir and we love it!  This is my favorite brand so far.
• Sleep!  Travels and summertime skewed our bedtime and naptime schedules.  The boys recently started preschool, and naptime there is much earlier in the day.  So we've slowly started to revert back to an earlier bedtime, earlier wake up time, and hopefully thus an earlier nap time.  I also need to resolve to go to bed earlier and get more sleep myself. 
• Hand washing!  I've armed my purse, the car, and our bathrooms with hand sanitizer, you know the drill.  However, I consider hand sanitizer my "in a pinch" solution, since I don't want to overuse it.  As for traditional hand washing, I've been trying to observe the "20 seconds" rule of thumb.  

Stay healthy out there!

Depression?

Depression can be complicated, since it can be  "caused by a combination of genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors."   I'm thankful to God that I've only experienced mild depression.  I believe that, whatever our struggles, as parents we must do whatever we can to be our best for our children.  I also believe in talking about depression.  In certain communities, there's still a stigma attached to depression, and shame in sharing about it.  I don't know why.  I'm a traditional gal, but not always a conventional one, so... here we go!

My depression in the past has been triggered by stressful times or big changes in life.  My first encounter with it was as an adolescent, trying to navigate those crazy times of surging hormones and middle school!  I tried self-diagnosing with encyclopedias, instead of doing what I should have done: talk to my mom about it.  It didn't rear its ugly head again (in full force) until the guy I was dating and loved (now my husband!) took a job in another state.  When we got engaged, it happened again, as we tried to keep up the relationship long-distance and plan a large wedding.  The last time I had a longer episode was when we moved to yet another new city, this time with baby twins in tow.  I felt trapped in our rental with the babies, didn't have many of my own friends yet, and it was too hot to enjoy the outdoors.  (I did eventually learn some coping skills, which I outlined in this post here.)  These were the major episodes, lasting many months at a time, with smaller episodes of just a few days in between.

So cute.  Yet, multiple babies can be very draining, and leave you feeling isolated.  

For me, depression begins with the feeling that a dark cloud is moving in, getting ready to rest right above my head for permanent lodging.  Then the darkness seems to settle into my brain and my heart.  Scary ideas and thoughts that I don't even feel comfortable writing down flash through my mind.  I'm an emotional person to begin with, crying easily, but also easily excited.  The difference when I'm in a depressed episode, is that I seem to no longer take joy in...anything.  I know rationally that I have a good life, yet everything seems muted.

So, as my twins' birth approached, I read up on post-partum depression in particular, and had the number of a counselor at our church all lined up, just in case.  After all, carrying, birthing, and caring for multiple babies can be very stressful, and it was all so new.  I was ready.  I waited for it to happen.  And it didn't.  I was relieved, and pleasantly surprised.  According to this article on WebMD,  I did have some risk factors for PPD, but those factors don't necessarily mean you'll experience PPD.  But if you're expecting, it's a good idea to have it in the back of your mind, just in case.

Below is a list of things that help me.  Maybe it will be helpful for someone else, too.  However, please keep in mind my experience is only with mild depression, and I'm no doctor!  Seeking professional help is always a good thing.

• Be aware.  Be aware of your family history, of your own tendencies, and of the facts.  Sometimes just knowing what is happening to me makes me feel marginally better.
• Talk to someone.  Don't keep your feelings to yourself on this one.  Let your spouse, or family members and friends know about what your struggles.  If they don't know about it, they can't pray, listen, or support.  If they love you, there should be no shame in talking about this!  True friends will listen with love.  If someone reacts poorly to you, that reflects badly on them, not you!
• Remember, you aren't alone.  When you share with others, you may find that they have similar experiences.  You are definitely not the only person who feels this way!  In fact, mothers of multiples are at greater risk for PPD, according to this article.
• Let your doctor know.  When we moved to our current city, I let my new general practitioner know about my background at my first appointment.  She told me as a good rule of thumb, that if you cannot shake the depression through other means after two weeks, that one really should make an appointment to see their doctor and possibly obtain a prescription.  Do your research and decide who you should see: your regular doctor, a psychiatrist (sometimes you need a referral, so you may want to start with your regular doctor first, anyway), psychologist, or other trained lay counselor.  Sometimes it's good to get recommendations while you're feeling good, and then those phone numbers are right there when you need them.  
• Eat well.  Obviously.  But when I'm down, my first instinct is to eat junk food, instead of, say, a smoothie or salad.  But healthy food can do wonders for your overall mental health.  
• Exercise.  My doctor said this can be one of the best ways to keep depression at bay.  Do whatever is easy and fun for you.  For people like me, a walk around the neighborhood refreshes me.  When living in Pasadena in a good neighborhood, I could take hour long walks, pushing the double stroller ahead of me and enjoying the weather.  It's no wonder my health took a toll when we moved to Houston, in the summer, into a sketchy neighborhood:  the heat and humidity and our location kept me indoors most of the time.  If you're in this kind of situation, look for online workout videos for free, order some DVDs, or join a gym that has child care (if you can afford it).  An idea for when your children are much older: a wonderful older-than-I lady once shared that she would leave her kids in the house, and just take laps around the block.  She would close the blinds when she left, and instruct the children to only open them if there was a problem, and then she'd come back in the house.  
• Follow your routine.  Many decades ago, one family member of mine had trouble getting doctors to believe she was experiencing depression, partly because she had amazing self-discipline:  She was dressed and well-groomed; she continued to care for several children and a home almost entirely on her own while her husband worked hard outside the home.  But doing those daily tasks and having a schedule to follow can sometimes keep our bodies moving along when our mind won't cooperate, something I touched on in my post "Do The Next Thing."  
• Pray.  Lean on your faith, if you have one, for support.  (If you are a Christian, this article might be helpful.) Sometimes this is all I need.  Sometimes I need other things too.  I believe taking steps towards caring for our physical needs (and depression is a physical thing) should go hand in hand with taking steps in caring for our spiritual needs, and that these two steps together can be powerful in caring for our mental health.  

"...but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:31

Sleep...and keeping your kids in their cribs: Part 2

You've worked so hard to transition your babies into a crib, and to train them to sleep at night, and knowing they're safe in their cribs gives you peace of mind.  And then they figure out how to get out and it's all over!  Then you have to either train them to stay in the crib and not get out unless you take them out, or if you're worried about safety you have to transition to a toddler bed, perhaps earlier than you'd planned.

I'll never forget the first morning I heard the running feet and noises getting closer and closer...  The boys had gotten out of their cribs one morning for the first time (see my post here) and then somehow forgot about it.  But that fateful morning that they burst into our room I'd left both their door and our door open because they had cried a lot in the evening and I wanted to hear them if they woke again.

What we did:

• We turned their cribs so the highest side was away from the wall.  This did not deter them from climbing out AT ALL.  (To my husband, "you were right.")
• I strongly "encouraged" them to stay in their cribs at nap time.  (I actually don't mind if they get up to play in the early morning in their room, but I need my afternoon break!)
• I put up a gate to the bedroom door even while they were sleeping.  This was mainly for safety, since I don't want them wandering the house at night if they happen to get up and out.  Also, one of my sons had opened the door to the garage for the first time, and I didn't want them somehow unlocking or opening doors and leaving the house while I'm sleeping and not supervising! 
• We tried sleep sacks.  I ordered super-long, toddler-sized ones.  I chose the Halo SleepSack in lightweight knit, so it wouldn't be too hot over their winter clothes.  As you can see below they did fit my tall toddlers, but the leg openings still allowed them enough range of movement to swing their leg over the side of the crib!

More suggestions from twin moms on keeping your babies/toddlers in bed:

• Use a "Peapod."  Click here to see an example.  These are portable, zip-up, tent-like sleeping beds.  A member of my local twins club used hers by setting them right inside her cribs after converting the cribs to toddler beds.  She also says twisty ties can keep the zippers in place, since her twins quickly learned how to unzip the pods.  
• If using sleep sacks, and your child learns how to unzip it, another member of my club sewed her own version of a sleep sack that had snaps in the back instead of a front zipper.  
• If putting the crib mattress on the floor within the crib itself, don't just lay the mattress touching the floor, as it will too easily slide around.  Unscrew and lay the original crib bottom on the floor, then put the mattress on top.  
• Pray.  

Some of these things might work to slow your children down or prevent their crib escapes.  Eventually, as you can see from the title picture above, we took the plunge and switched to toddler beds!  Stay tuned for a post on this transition!

Snuggling with daddy after a nap.  

Top 10 Tips: Twins Arrive!

1.  Know that it's going to be crazy.

Don't expect the kind of life your imagination might have cobbled together from television commercials, or other families' carefully coordinated professional photography sessions for Christmas cards.

2.  Be prepared.  

There are a lot of things you can do before the babies come to feel sort of set up.  See my post on top five tips for a twin pregnancy (some of which applies to higher order pregnancies, too).

3.  Don't be surprised if NICU time is required.

A lot of multiples arrive early, and thus, need to spend a little time in the NICU.  There are many parents out there a lot more qualified than I to speak to this.  But don't be disheartened by it:  know that this can be a little added recovery time for yourself, and more importantly, a well-monitored catch-up time for preemies who just might not be ready for this world yet.

4.  Get help!

Most people can't afford night nurses, nannies who help while you're home as well, or even a cleaning lady.  If you CAN, more power to you!  For the rest of us, beseech your family and friends to come at regular intervals.  Get over your pride and ask if nobody volunteers.

5.  Have a night-time plan.

See my posts on Sleep...and what we WISH we had done, and Sleep: tips for making the night go smoothly.

(For even MORE sleep advice, this link goes to a list of all posts on Sleep.)

6.  Create a schedule, but don't worry if you can't stick to it.

By now I'm sure you've heard the mantra that if one baby wakes to eat, feed the other baby, too.  Eventually, you will get more rest if you can get your twins to eat and sleep at the same time.  It can also help you mentally if you know what to expect throughout the day, rather than feeling that each day (or night!) is an endless stretch of the unknown.  A few tips:  In Praise of Routine.

7.  Order stuff online.

While I do recommend learning how to get out of the house with your multiples soon, to avoid cabin fever, I also know it's very difficult.  Sometimes it just seems easier to stay home.  In which case, ordering diapers, formula, pajamas, whatever it may be, from Amazon or Diapers.com can be a very easy and convenient option.  And while we never did it, I've heard online grocery delivery services can be amazing.

8.  Don't compare.

Try and accept early on that your life with two or more babies at one time will NOT look the same as your friend or cousin with just one baby at a time.  I once heard a quote, attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, that "comparison is the thief of joy."

9.  Join stuff. 

I've been a member of a multiples club in two different cities now, and I can't stop gushing about the benefits!  Most groups have an online presence, in which you can ask questions related to twins, buy a used triple stroller for a good price, or be inspired by that mother of quadruplets!  Both groups I've joined had monthly meetings with interesting, relevant speakers, and my current group even serves a free dinner before every meeting!  There are usually play dates and events for the kids, or moms' nights out for happy hour or dinner.  I've made lots of friends this way, and can't say enough about the emotional support these groups can provide.  If you don't have a multiples club near you, join another parent group to meet other people who are (almost) going through the same thing.

Find a multiples club:  Multiples of America

10.  To repeat, remember:  it'll be crazy.

CRAZY.

Top 5 Tips: Twin Pregnancy

1.  Eat!

In the early stages of my pregnancy, I was ravenous.  Then came some morning sickness/nausea, which put a slight damper on eating.  But with twins, you'll get bigger faster, and your stomach will be pushed higher and higher, possibly causing more heartburn. It was so bad at the end, for me, that I didn't enjoy eating as much, because I knew I would pay for it later, and it would even keep me from sleeping.  I was also diagnosed with gestational diabetes towards the end, and it literally took the joy out of eating.  I had to avoid certain things (pretty much everything I liked) and test my blood every few hours.  SO, my advice is to get in those calories as soon as you can, in a healthful way, of course.  In their book "When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads: Proven Guidelines for a Healthy Multiple Pregnancy," Barbara Luke and Tamara Eberlein state that a mother expecting twins should gain around 40-56 pounds.  For triplets, 58 to 75, and for quads 70-80.  I did not gain that much, and I think it was partly due to my frame and my inability to eat much at the end.  According to these authors, an ideal diet for a multiple pregnancy is actually related to a diabetic diet, and suggests 3,500 calories a day for a mother expecting twins.  Wow!  I'm not a medical professional, so of course, you should get recommendations from your own doctor; but I did find this particular book very helpful.

When you don't feel like eating, think of your first ultrasound for motivation!  They need nutrients!

2.  Take it easy.

I heard a lot of people talk about how pregnant women could be just as active as anyone else, and I even personally knew women who continued to train for marathons up to 7 months gestation.  Also, lots of people told me that when the second trimester hit, it would be the Golden Age of pregnancy, I'd have more energy and feel better.  Some mothers of multiples may experience it this way, but not me!  I was exhausted at the beginning, and when the second trimester hit, I felt REALLY BAD.  I was tired and literally in pain.  I should have listened to my body's signals, and rested more.  I felt blessed that I finished my school year teaching kindergarten at around 3 or 4 months, after which I resigned.  But I was still trying to take a long walk for exercise every day (and feeling exhausted after a block), and doing errands, and took a few trips.  I understand that we should be healthy (and have a life), and there's also the nesting drive, pushing us to want to have everything ready for the babies!  And many of us are working and have other little ones already.  But, if and when possible, take it easy!

I'd like to stress something here:  Multiple pregnancies are on the rise, but this doesn't make them less risky.  Multiple pregnancies are still, technically, high-risk pregnancies compared to single pregnancies.  They are different and should be treated differently!  Listen to your body, listen to your doctor.  There is no shame in taking a nap or putting your feet up when you can!

3.5 Months along and not very big yet, but already needing more rest than usual!

3.  Be prepared.

Many women expecting twins and other higher order multiples end up needing to go on bed rest.  I was on bed rest for my last 2 months.  This will limit many things you may have planned to do.  So, it's not crazy to set up the nursery, or assemble the crib in your room, or whatever you're going to do, as soon as possible.  Try to do errands and any physical tasks early on.  Then, if you do end up on bed rest, you can do all the sitting-down activities: setting up online registries, making and printing baby logs, preparing baby announcements (if you want to) in which you just have to add a photo, make and print address labels for announcements, write thank you notes for things you may have already received, find a pediatrician, etc. Also, we had some insurance nightmares.  Try and do whatever you can before the babies arrive!  Long phone calls and dealing with bureaucracy is only harder with multiple crying infants.  Some of it can't be avoided, of course.  I also cooked a few meals and froze them for later.


4.  Line up help.

We were incredibly blessed to have my parents live with us for the first two months after the babies were born!  My mother had recently retired, and my dad's job could be done online.  But before they even arrived, I was on bed rest and my husband really had to step it up and do everything: work full time, do everything around the house, grocery shop, and drive me to my numerous appointments.  My family was eager and willing to help; if yours is not, do your best to convey the medical necessity of you taking it easy!  If no family is around, or you are single, there is no shame in letting housework slide and cutting out any other unnecessary activities.  Try to draw upon your pre-pregnancy network of friends and acquaintances to help you: maybe someone can do laundry one day a week, another friend might be able to pick something up at the store for you.

Because everything just gets harder at this point: almost 8 months along!

Also look into lining up help for AFTER the babies' arrival.  Can any family members come stay with you for a bit?  Can you afford a night nanny? (We couldn't quite justify that cost, and weren't even very aware of the concept at the time.)  Do you need to start arranging childcare for when you return to work?  And FOOD.  If no one offers, ask your best friend or ANYBODY to set up a meal registry for you.  People love to help, they just need to be organized.  Here are some great sites for that:

MealBaby

SignUp Genius

Take Them A Meal


5.  Do your research...but not too much.

As mentioned above, carrying twins brings risk.  Some doctors are well versed in multiple pregnancies, but you'd be surprised.  In most cases you'll be referred to a specialist to see regularly on top of your usual OB/GYN.  If you're not, maybe you should request that this happens.  So read up on your particular type of pregnancy to gain a working knowledge of the facts.  It's okay if you can't remember every tiny detail.  But if a complication arises, at least you won't be surprised, and you won't feel blindsided by medical terms being thrown around at the doctor's office.  At 26 weeks I was admitted to the hospital for pre-term labor, which they managed to stop, and was diagnosed with TTTS (twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome).  At one point my husband told me to stop reading about the condition so that I wouldn't worry so much!  So, he did all the reading and worrying from then on.  Be educated, but stop random Internet searching at 1 a.m. while biting your nails and raising your heart rate!  Your babies need you to be as calm as possible for them :)

So, those are my top 5 tips for a twin pregnancy!  Eat, rest, prepare, get help, and read!  What are yours?

"Do The Next Thing"

My parents lived with us for two and a half months after the twins were born. I was spoiled! They did 99% of the laundry, grocery shopping, and cooked a lot of dinners for us. They sometimes fixed me lunch, and generally helped keep our apartment clean. All that, in ADDITION to helping with the boys: giving bottles or helping to bring them in to be nursed in my room, burping, changing, dressing, holding and taking lots of pictures!

Considering my husband and I were still exhausted, I have no clue how people cope with infant twins (or more!) with no outside help.

The day my parents left, my husband drove them to the airport and I was left alone with my children for real, for the first time. I cried. I didn't know how I would do it.

Especially in moments like this, I didn't know how I would do it...

Then I remembered a favorite saying of author and speaker Elisabeth Elliot "Do the next thing."  Elisabeth Elliot had one husband killed during their work as missionaries, she was then widowed and supporting herself and a small daughter, and her second husband died of cancer.  So she knew something about hardship.

Now my life was by no means as hard as hers, but raising more than one baby at a time can be challenging.  For me, in the moment of fear when my parents left, the "next thing" meant rinsing out some bottles, and playing with my babies on a blanket on the floor. Afterwards the "next thing" was nap time and I swaddled them, laid them in their cribs, and went back to the kitchen to continue catching up on dishes.  Eventually I may have caught a few minutes of sleep myself before they woke up for the next feeding and we started the whole cycle over again.  For you the "next thing" might be helping your triplets to clean up their play dough.  Or the next thing might be giving your twins a bath.  Don't worry about the 87 next things after that, just focus on one productive task at a time.  

"Do the next thing" became my own mantra for awhile, and I revisit it in moments when I'm stressed out or overwhelmed.  Here is the poem, author unknown, that inspired Elisabeth to often speak about that particular quote.  

From an old English parsonage, down by the sea
There came in the twilight a message to me;
Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,
Hath, as it seems to me, teaching from Heaven.
And on through the hours the quiet words ring
Like a low inspiration–”DO THE NEXT THING.”

Many a question, many of fear,
Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from Heaven,
Time, opportunity, guidance, are given.
Fear not tomorrows, Child of the King,
Trust them with Jesus, “DO THE NEXT THING.”

Do it immediately; do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care;
Do it with reverence, tracing His Hand
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing,
Leave all resultings, “DO THE NEXT THING.”

Looking to Jesus, ever serener,
(Working or suffering) be thy demeanor,
In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance be thy psalm,
Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing,
Then, as He beckons thee, “DO THE NEXT THING.”