Top 5 Tips: Twin Pregnancy

1.  Eat!

In the early stages of my pregnancy, I was ravenous.  Then came some morning sickness/nausea, which put a slight damper on eating.  But with twins, you'll get bigger faster, and your stomach will be pushed higher and higher, possibly causing more heartburn. It was so bad at the end, for me, that I didn't enjoy eating as much, because I knew I would pay for it later, and it would even keep me from sleeping.  I was also diagnosed with gestational diabetes towards the end, and it literally took the joy out of eating.  I had to avoid certain things (pretty much everything I liked) and test my blood every few hours.  SO, my advice is to get in those calories as soon as you can, in a healthful way, of course.  In their book "When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads: Proven Guidelines for a Healthy Multiple Pregnancy," Barbara Luke and Tamara Eberlein state that a mother expecting twins should gain around 40-56 pounds.  For triplets, 58 to 75, and for quads 70-80.  I did not gain that much, and I think it was partly due to my frame and my inability to eat much at the end.  According to these authors, an ideal diet for a multiple pregnancy is actually related to a diabetic diet, and suggests 3,500 calories a day for a mother expecting twins.  Wow!  I'm not a medical professional, so of course, you should get recommendations from your own doctor; but I did find this particular book very helpful.

When you don't feel like eating, think of your first ultrasound for motivation!  They need nutrients!

2.  Take it easy.

I heard a lot of people talk about how pregnant women could be just as active as anyone else, and I even personally knew women who continued to train for marathons up to 7 months gestation.  Also, lots of people told me that when the second trimester hit, it would be the Golden Age of pregnancy, I'd have more energy and feel better.  Some mothers of multiples may experience it this way, but not me!  I was exhausted at the beginning, and when the second trimester hit, I felt REALLY BAD.  I was tired and literally in pain.  I should have listened to my body's signals, and rested more.  I felt blessed that I finished my school year teaching kindergarten at around 3 or 4 months, after which I resigned.  But I was still trying to take a long walk for exercise every day (and feeling exhausted after a block), and doing errands, and took a few trips.  I understand that we should be healthy (and have a life), and there's also the nesting drive, pushing us to want to have everything ready for the babies!  And many of us are working and have other little ones already.  But, if and when possible, take it easy!

I'd like to stress something here:  Multiple pregnancies are on the rise, but this doesn't make them less risky.  Multiple pregnancies are still, technically, high-risk pregnancies compared to single pregnancies.  They are different and should be treated differently!  Listen to your body, listen to your doctor.  There is no shame in taking a nap or putting your feet up when you can!

3.5 Months along and not very big yet, but already needing more rest than usual!

3.  Be prepared.

Many women expecting twins and other higher order multiples end up needing to go on bed rest.  I was on bed rest for my last 2 months.  This will limit many things you may have planned to do.  So, it's not crazy to set up the nursery, or assemble the crib in your room, or whatever you're going to do, as soon as possible.  Try to do errands and any physical tasks early on.  Then, if you do end up on bed rest, you can do all the sitting-down activities: setting up online registries, making and printing baby logs, preparing baby announcements (if you want to) in which you just have to add a photo, make and print address labels for announcements, write thank you notes for things you may have already received, find a pediatrician, etc. Also, we had some insurance nightmares.  Try and do whatever you can before the babies arrive!  Long phone calls and dealing with bureaucracy is only harder with multiple crying infants.  Some of it can't be avoided, of course.  I also cooked a few meals and froze them for later.


4.  Line up help.

We were incredibly blessed to have my parents live with us for the first two months after the babies were born!  My mother had recently retired, and my dad's job could be done online.  But before they even arrived, I was on bed rest and my husband really had to step it up and do everything: work full time, do everything around the house, grocery shop, and drive me to my numerous appointments.  My family was eager and willing to help; if yours is not, do your best to convey the medical necessity of you taking it easy!  If no family is around, or you are single, there is no shame in letting housework slide and cutting out any other unnecessary activities.  Try to draw upon your pre-pregnancy network of friends and acquaintances to help you: maybe someone can do laundry one day a week, another friend might be able to pick something up at the store for you.

Because everything just gets harder at this point: almost 8 months along!

Also look into lining up help for AFTER the babies' arrival.  Can any family members come stay with you for a bit?  Can you afford a night nanny? (We couldn't quite justify that cost, and weren't even very aware of the concept at the time.)  Do you need to start arranging childcare for when you return to work?  And FOOD.  If no one offers, ask your best friend or ANYBODY to set up a meal registry for you.  People love to help, they just need to be organized.  Here are some great sites for that:

MealBaby

SignUp Genius

Take Them A Meal


5.  Do your research...but not too much.

As mentioned above, carrying twins brings risk.  Some doctors are well versed in multiple pregnancies, but you'd be surprised.  In most cases you'll be referred to a specialist to see regularly on top of your usual OB/GYN.  If you're not, maybe you should request that this happens.  So read up on your particular type of pregnancy to gain a working knowledge of the facts.  It's okay if you can't remember every tiny detail.  But if a complication arises, at least you won't be surprised, and you won't feel blindsided by medical terms being thrown around at the doctor's office.  At 26 weeks I was admitted to the hospital for pre-term labor, which they managed to stop, and was diagnosed with TTTS (twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome).  At one point my husband told me to stop reading about the condition so that I wouldn't worry so much!  So, he did all the reading and worrying from then on.  Be educated, but stop random Internet searching at 1 a.m. while biting your nails and raising your heart rate!  Your babies need you to be as calm as possible for them :)

So, those are my top 5 tips for a twin pregnancy!  Eat, rest, prepare, get help, and read!  What are yours?

Baby Meal Planning

In case you couldn't tell yet, I leaned heavily on BabyCenter.com from conception and beyond, for advice.  If you'd like more detail on what to feed your baby and when, you can check out their age by age feeding guide.

From birth to 4 months, your babies don't need anything other than breast milk and/or formula.  Then, I seem to hear a lot of conflicting advice on when to introduce "solids," anywhere from 4 to 6 months.  I would go on your pediatrician's advice or your own detailed research from a source you trust, when it comes to that question.  For the record, we gave our boys baby rice cereal when they were about 4 and a half months.  They spit it out.  After that, I'd "practice" with them just once a day, with just a spoonful of cereal.  Then when they were 5 months, we did peas, and continued on from there.  

I received the Baby Bullet as a shower gift, and it was wonderful for making your own baby food!  (Shop around for the best price.)  Sadly, I only used it for a few times before we had to pack everything up and move to another state (see my post on moving with twins).  Some things were in storage, some in boxes in a temporary housing situation, and who knows where the Bullet ended up.  I suppose I thought we'd find permanent housing sooner, and then I'd tote it out of a box and use it again.  So I also used a lot of store-bought baby food to save time, since those months were a huge period of transition for us.

(Now I'm discovering there are lots of gadgets out there that will both steam and puree your food in one container, so you can take out the step of transferring.)

There are now a lot of organic options out there for ready-made baby food, though I will admit that I did not do 100% organic.  If you do, that's great.  If that's too expensive for you, but you're still able to do some organic, here is a chart that might be helpful when deciding what to buy organic:  (Taken from last year's FoodNews.org)

Once solid food was an established part of our routine, the boys "meals" from around 7 months old onwards looked something like this:  (You'll note that I wrote "bottle" for milk feeds.  I was sadly not able to produce milk past 3 months.  So if you follow our pattern, you would either be nursing throughout the day and then feeding solids a little after they've digested, or doing a bottle of pumped milk.)

7 am:  Bottle 

8 am:  Breakfast:  

• 1 serving/package/jar of pureed fruit
• A few spoonfuls of baby oatmeal

11 am:  Bottle

12 pm:  Lunch:  

• 1 serving/package/jar pureed vegetable
• A few spoonfuls of rice cereal

3:30 pm:  Bottle

4:30 pm:  Dinner:  

• 1 serving/package/jar pureed vegetable
• A few spoonfuls of rice cereal

7 pm:  Bottle

As the boys progressed in months, from 7 months old to 12 months, I gradually added two snacks, other types of food, and tried to add more finger foods, and their meals gradually looked like this:  (It will look like a lot of food, but keep in mind that they may not always finish everything you offer.  We were trying to introduce variety and new things.  And also during this time, your babies may start to crawl and be more mobile, and need more calories.)

7 am:  Bottle

8 am:  Breakfast:  

• 1 serving/package/jar of pureed fruit
• A few spoonfuls of baby oatmeal
• Handful of grain-based finger food

9:30 am:  Snack:  

• 1/2 serving/package/jar of pureed fruit

11 am:  Bottle

12 pm:  Lunch:  

• 1 serving/package/jar pureed vegetable 
• A few spoonfuls of rice cereal
• Handful of soft fruit or steamed vegetable as finger food

3:30 pm: Bottle

4:30 pm:  Dinner:  

• 1 serving/package/jar pureed vegetable or pureed meat, or baby yogurt
• A few spoonfuls of rice cereal
• A handful of soft fruit or vegetable as finger food 

6 pm:  Snack:   

• 1/2 serving/package/jar of pureed fruit
• A handful of grain-based finger food

7 pm:  Bottle

When the boys got older, I followed a slightly different pattern, which you can see in my post on Toddler Meal Planning. 

Happy feeding!

3 Hours Outside?

Welcome to my second "Old-Fashioned Friday!"  (Click here for my first Old-Fashioned Friday post.)  My dad might cringe when he reads that today's tidbit came from a book he read in his childhood:  "The Junior Instructor."  I occasionally like looking through antique shops for interesting old books, and bought Book 1 and 2.  When I showed it to my dad, he said he recalled reading these at school.

Cover of The Junior Instructor Book 2

These books began in 1916, but my volumes were published in 1959.  It's like an encyclopedia, or general reference book, for children, with lots of pictures, rhymes, and small paragraphs on anything from birds to the circus.

One of the sections, titled "Healthy Children," includes a "letter," written as though from a child to the mother.  Read it and see if what caught my attention the most, sticks out to you as well:

"Dear Mother,

 I need outdoor exercise to stay healthy.  All small children should play outdoors at least three hours every day, in good weather.  I need the right equipment to help me exercise my large muscles.  The small muscles of my hands and fingers are not yet well developed.  I need a fence or a jungle gym to climb on, and bars to hang on  I like to run and skip and dance.  I need to slide on a slide and swing on a swing and ride a tricycle.  After I am five years old, I will need roller skates and a jump rope."  

Page with Letter to Mother

So, what stood out to you?  For me it was the 3 hours outside every day!  Now that I think about it, that sounds ideal for my active little guys.  Decades ago, children did spend more time outside, and it probably did them good.  But we're lucky if we manage just 1 hour a day.  I let household chores, errands, laziness, and other things get the better of me, rather than making sure we're in the yard or going to a park as often as possible.  And as I wrote in my post on how much time should children spend outside, modern specialists only suggest a little over an hour for kids of about 2 years old.  But, inspired by this little "Letter to Mother" that I found, we've been making more of an effort to get outside.  The other day it was just 30 degrees outside (Fahrenheit), but we bundled up and spent an hour at the park.  It sure paid off at nap time!  

On a warmer day:  Chalk, cardboard boxes, and toy cars... all enjoyable outside, too! 

Time outside does wonders for kids' gross and fine motor skills, as that letter touched upon.  Get outside, if possible, and... 

Happy Friday!

Old-Fashioned Fridays: "Food and Family Living"

I've decided to start a new, little portion of my blog, that isn't necessarily devoted to all things twin.  It's just for my own fun, and maybe yours!  I'll call it "Old Fashioned Fridays," in which I write about baby and child care, vintage-style.

Hughina McKay, my 3x great aunt.

Recently, I learned that my great-great-great aunt became a professor of Home Economics at Ohio State University.  (Oops, sorry sports fans in the family...um...Go Pack Go!)  Hughina McKay (known as Aunt Eny to the family) was born in 1880 in Ontario.  The family ended up moving to the States, she never married, and eventually wrote several textbooks in her field.  One such book is called "Food and Family Living," published in 1942.  Believe it or not, there are 4 left on Amazon!

What kind advice might there be for feeding your kids in 1942?

There's an entire chapter on teaching kids good eating habits.  The advice seems good to me:

"A happy mealtime.  Let the child's associations with food be pleasant.  Do not pay too much attention to his eating.  Children need to learn social customs.  The best way of teaching good manners is by example.  Good conversation in which the child is free to join if he has anything to contribute adds zest to even the plainest food and is a fine tradition to establish for mealtimes."  

"Children enjoy helping themselves at meal time if given the opportunity."

The book also suggested planning one meal for the whole family, and you just adjust how much and what is given to each family member based on age and needs.  I admit I don't always do this, and often feed the twins simple foods, and then my husband and I eat something entirely different.  But getting your child to eat what you eat is a good way to introduce them to new flavors.

"Small servings of the family dinner may be given to the two-year-old."

For babies, unsurprising ideas:
For infants under a year old, "Food and Family Living" suggest breast milk, artificial milk if necessary, well-cooked cereal, and soft, cooked and strained fruits and vegetables for later in a baby's first year.

For babies, surprising/old-fashioned ideas:
1/4 teaspoon of egg yolk to a 5 month old (Raw?  Yikes!), spoonful of orange or tomato juice (for Vitamin C, they say), and cod-liver oil (yum).

For toddlers, the book groups children 18 months to 5 years old into one category called "Preschool Children."  It suggests they basically eat what adults eat, but in smaller portions and omitting things that are too difficult to chew.

They made a point of encouraging liver, which the book says "has been shown to stimulate the appetite."  I wonder...

Happy Friday!

Finger Food Ideas

Babies:

There are TONS of websites and books out there for baby food recipes.  Two good websites that I liked for both babies and toddlers were Weelicious and Wholesome Baby Food.  But here is a list of things I personally used to slowly introducing finger foods to our babies:

• Diced tofu
• Soft cheeses
• Cereal puffs and yogurt melts (many brands sell variants of these)
• Cheerios or other o-shaped cereal
• Well-cooked and soft vegetables, such as carrots or chunks of potatoes or sweet potatoes
• Diced pears or other soft vegetables

Toddlers:

Here's a list of foods that are easy for your kids to eat, not too messy (if you care about that), and for when they're not eating whatever YOU'RE eating that's been cut-up.

• Cherry tomatoes, halved or quartered
• Grapes, halved or quartered
• Cheese cubes
• Small cubes of cooked chicken
• Quesadillas with beans, cheese, and anything else, cut into bite-sized pieces with a pizza cutter
• Quaker Oats Oatmeal Squares cereal
• Chex cereal
• Spiral, bowtie, macaroni, or penne pasta (easier to pick up or stab with a fork than spaghetti)
• Steamed green beans and asparagus (once they learn how to bite off a piece, or you could cut them up)
• Steamed broccoli florets
• Steamed carrots, cut into rounds (I guess we steam a lot of things in our house...)
• Waffles or pancakes (again, teach them how to take bites, or break them into pieces at first)
•   Pouches of pureed fruits and vegetables (various brands offer these, and can be used once your kids know how to squeeze the pouch.)
• And you know those packages of mixed veggies in the freezer section?  The pieces are small enough to eat (so small, in fact, that they're a great fine-motor exercise just to pick up and eat!) and sweet.  Here's a video of one of my sons eating them with gusto:  

Play in the Garage

In the fall, my husband and I took our twin boys to a playdate with a playgroup I was assigned to through my local mother of multiples club (another perk of joining a chapter near you!).  Since it was autumn, they had everything set up for pumpkin decorating...in their garage.  Brilliant!  There were tarps laid out, held down by mini hay bales (so cute), and paint, paper plates, brushes, stickers, and tons of mini pumpkins.  There were also a few ride-on toys for when attention spans waned.  This was a great example of using your garage for play, especially for projects that might get messy and hard to clean up if you did them elsewhere.

We normally keep our cars in the garage, so there isn't quite as much room, but inspired by my new friend, I pulled the cars out for one morning and parked them in the driveway.  I removed hazards, like our ladder, and stuck them in the laundry room temporarily, and put several ride-on toys and bikes in the garage.  This was in preparation for another set of twin boys who would be visiting us for the morning.  Running around in an enclosed space with trikes seemed perfect for four 2-year-old boys!  Unfortunately, we never even ended up out there because time flew by, but I think it might have worked out well.  

Some of you might not have a garage, and for some of you it may be either too hot or too cold to really let your kids play in it.  I have seen some people set up a gated play area in the garage and open the garage door to keep air circulating on a hot day, and let their children play in the shade of the garage.  For others the garage might be a fun novelty on a rainy day.  (All of this is assuming you can or are willing to move your cars outside.)  In any case, if you do have a useable garage, using it for play can be a great way to extend the "square footage for play" in your home!

Ideas for Garage Play:

• Use it as a space to ride trikes, bikes, and other ride-on toys.
• Draw with chalk on the floor and either leave it or let the kids hose it off.
• Bring out toy cars and/or trains and tracks and have at it!
• Set up a play "house" with cardboard boxes and duct tape.
• Kick a soccer or kickball around.
• For younger toddlers, set up foam tiles and a gate, throw in some toys, and let them play while getting fresh air.
• Keep a play kitchen in the garage.  (My aunt currently has my old play kitchen in the family lake house garage, and my boys even liked tinkering at it while we played in and around the garage and driveway this summer!)

For some more inspiration, here's a link to my Pinterest board:  Play In The Garage.  

Happy playing!

"Do The Next Thing"

My parents lived with us for two and a half months after the twins were born. I was spoiled! They did 99% of the laundry, grocery shopping, and cooked a lot of dinners for us. They sometimes fixed me lunch, and generally helped keep our apartment clean. All that, in ADDITION to helping with the boys: giving bottles or helping to bring them in to be nursed in my room, burping, changing, dressing, holding and taking lots of pictures!

Considering my husband and I were still exhausted, I have no clue how people cope with infant twins (or more!) with no outside help.

The day my parents left, my husband drove them to the airport and I was left alone with my children for real, for the first time. I cried. I didn't know how I would do it.

Especially in moments like this, I didn't know how I would do it...

Then I remembered a favorite saying of author and speaker Elisabeth Elliot "Do the next thing."  Elisabeth Elliot had one husband killed during their work as missionaries, she was then widowed and supporting herself and a small daughter, and her second husband died of cancer.  So she knew something about hardship.

Now my life was by no means as hard as hers, but raising more than one baby at a time can be challenging.  For me, in the moment of fear when my parents left, the "next thing" meant rinsing out some bottles, and playing with my babies on a blanket on the floor. Afterwards the "next thing" was nap time and I swaddled them, laid them in their cribs, and went back to the kitchen to continue catching up on dishes.  Eventually I may have caught a few minutes of sleep myself before they woke up for the next feeding and we started the whole cycle over again.  For you the "next thing" might be helping your triplets to clean up their play dough.  Or the next thing might be giving your twins a bath.  Don't worry about the 87 next things after that, just focus on one productive task at a time.  

"Do the next thing" became my own mantra for awhile, and I revisit it in moments when I'm stressed out or overwhelmed.  Here is the poem, author unknown, that inspired Elisabeth to often speak about that particular quote.  

From an old English parsonage, down by the sea
There came in the twilight a message to me;
Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,
Hath, as it seems to me, teaching from Heaven.
And on through the hours the quiet words ring
Like a low inspiration–”DO THE NEXT THING.”

Many a question, many of fear,
Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from Heaven,
Time, opportunity, guidance, are given.
Fear not tomorrows, Child of the King,
Trust them with Jesus, “DO THE NEXT THING.”

Do it immediately; do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care;
Do it with reverence, tracing His Hand
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing,
Leave all resultings, “DO THE NEXT THING.”

Looking to Jesus, ever serener,
(Working or suffering) be thy demeanor,
In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance be thy psalm,
Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing,
Then, as He beckons thee, “DO THE NEXT THING.”